THE MAN WHO WAS A HOSPITAL
Jerome Kalpka Jerome is a famous British
novelist, play-writer and humorist. This story is also a humorous exaggeration
in which the aim of the writer is to make us laugh. We laugh at the writer as
well as at all those persons who behave as the writer did. Such people writer
has presented himself to paint the beautiful picture of such a person.
Once, the writer read a patent liver-pill circular in which various
symptoms of the liver disease had been described. After reading it, the writer
thought that his liver was out of order because he felt that he had all the
symptoms that had been described in the circular. This happened to be his
psychological habit that whenever he read about some patent medicine
advertisement, he always concluded that he himself was suffering from that
particular disease for which the medicine had been made. This was because the
diagnosis seemed to correspond to his sensations.
The writer says that one day he happened to go to the British Museum Library to read the symptoms of a minor disease ďhay feverĒ for which he thought that he was suffering from. From there, he got a book on medicine and studies pages of the book idly and came to know that he was having the premonitory symptoms of another serious disease. This prompted him to read through whole of the book alphabetically. After studying all about, he came to the conclusion that he had typhoid fever, St. Vitusís Dance Brighrís Disease, Diphtheria, cholera, Gout, Zymosis and so many other diseases simultaneously. The only malady that he did not have was housemaidís knee. He was very surprised why did he not catch it.
Then the writer thought that he was a hospital in himself and that he
would be a great possession for the medical students. They would have no need to
walk to the hospital if they had him with them in their classes. After knowing
this fact that he was a patient of so many diseases, he become feared how long
he had to live and he began to examine himself. He felt his pulse and counted it
147 to a minute. Then he examined his heart and found that it had stopped
beating but suddenly it started working. He examined his tongue and came to know
that he was also suffering from scarlet fever. The writer thought when he had
entered the library, he was perfectly all right but then he was walking out of
it as a decrepit wreck.
Then the writer thought of going to his family doctor who was an old chum of him. He straightaway went to him from the library and told him that he was suffering from a large number of diseases at the same time. He also told him how he discovered all that. The doctor thoroughly examined him and wrote out a prescription and handed over to the writer. The writer departed from him without reading the prescription and made his way to the chemistís shop. After looking at the paper, the chemist expressed his inability to supply him with the things prescribed. He added that he could oblige him only if he were having a cooperative store and a family hotel combined. The write read the prescription that contained the advice of regular intake of food.
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